Sleep Magnate

I've been waiting for something worthwhile to start an entry and today, I got that impetus.

I knew I was asleep but somehow I couldn't wake up. It's that awful, uncanny feeling to WANT to get up but I just couldn't do it. A few times, I thought I could muster enough movement to kickstart my body to move, and I believe there were indeed some body movements, at least a muscle twitch or limb, but I just couldn't do it -- wake up. And this isn't the first time I've experienced such inability to severe arousal from sleep and it freaks me everytime this happens!

I'm not sure what realm that was but I just knew that I was conscious NOT dreaming. To attempt to define consciousness would be to risk displeasure of philosophers. I am no philosopher. However I would know what I mean when I say that I am conscious of, or aware of, something whether outside or within myself.

Today it happened around after midnight, twice. This giant sleep magnate pulled me back from waking up -- and the more I fought to release myself from this realm, the more of a grip, it held onto me. The second time I woke up at about 12.05am -- at least that's what my wristwatch told me. I didn't hesitate this time around. I got off the bed, went to the toilet, took ablution, got back in my bedroom and performed the sembahyang tahajud -- night prayers.

I had a good chat about this with my father during dinner just now. He smiled and nodded when I recounted my 'struggle' to wake up. My old man offered some advice and he put things into perspective. All I can say now is that it assuaged my nerve and rekindled a kind of resolution in me to not take things for granted.

Alhamdulillah.


Ayat Al-Kursi - the Verse of the Throne

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

Allah! There is no God but He,

the Living, the Self-subsisting, the Eternal.

No slumber can seize Him, nor sleep.

All things in heaven and earth are His.

Who could intercede in His presence without His permission?

He knows what appears in front of and behind His creatures.

Nor can they encompass any knowledge of Him except what he wills.

His throne extends over the heavens and the earth,

and He feels no fatigue in guarding and preserving them,

for He is the Highest and Most Exalted.

Allah, the Most High, speaks the truth.